Getting back into writing
I got myself on a nice writing track, pushing something every week on Medium for something like 9–10 months before going to South America.
At some point, I think I got nervous about posting relatively unpolished thoughts and ideas, even though that didn’t plague me for the entire first go around. Also got lazy and prioritized other things.
In the absence of the writing, I’ve found even more benefit in it. Lots happening to me and around me each day and I can either be reactionary — dealing with the tasks, events, messages, etc as they come in.
Or I can be proactive and be the one choosing when to tackle the work, how to tackle it, what to work on in the first place, who to spend time with, what to prioritize, etc.
Proactivity is hard when there are lots of things constantly coming in, which is why I’ve been making an effort to minimize those things. Turned off the little notification bubble for all the apps on my phone. Trying to check email less frequently (not so good at it right now), giving myself more free time each day to spend how I like (also big work in progress — especially when my baseline has been to bombard my schedule).
Taking that proactive approach allows me to direct my life, though, which is super important. Especially because the more people I’ve met, the more things I’ve gotten involved with, the older I’ve become, the more that the noise has increased. That makes it easy to follow the tide, jump from one thing to the next without thinking too much about it. ‘Do a lot of things’ most of which aren’t particularly meaningful, useful, or fun.
I’m not really responsible to anyone
I think this realization is one of the most helpful to remind myself.
I have commitments and roles and jobs that I’ve signed up for and that other people are counting on me to give my best. I’m responsible in those cases, yes.
That means I have to be very thoughtful about what responsibilities I sign up for, because letting people down, especially when the stakes are high, sucks and is shitty to do. It also means setting expectations correctly.
It’s easier in the moment to make everyone think you’re super excited about the thing and tell them how much you’ll be able to achieve together. That leads to a bigger crash, though, when you realize it’s not a priority.
Properly setting expectations from the beginning, on the other hand, leads to strong communication and the lack of that issue’s existence.
Then there’s that general responsibility feeling that I (and probably others) have, when I need to remind myself that I don’t. Let’s say I have a group of friends that I’m not super close to. If they’re all hanging out, I don’t owe them anything. If I am invited and want to go (over all the other ways I could spend that moment), then awesome. If I don’t go, it’s okay though. There’s no obligation.
Life is too short to feel obligated in moments like that. There are certain times for sure when it makes sense to do the thing and thinking about stuff broadly on occasion — how will this action impact me long term — can make sense.
There’s a delicate balance there, but remembering that life is short, and if we are reactionary instead of proactive, we’re going to miss out.
Back at it.
