Get used to criticism as quickly as possible
We hate being criticized
Generally, we don’t like being criticized. It doesn’t make us feel so good when the way that we act is put in question. Especially because we get our sense of self based on how we see ourselves through other people’s eyes. So when someone points something out that we don’t do well, it makes us feel like everyone sees that same flaw, which causes anxiety and a sadness that we aren’t the exact person we hope we are appearing as.
Think about the last time someone said something that was critical but true about you.
- How did you feel?
- What did you do about it?
Responding
It’s definitely not a good feeling, but getting over that hump is critical. Nobody is perfect. We all have our own problems, some that are deeply internal and some that everyone can see. When someone says “you don’t look good in the clothes you wear” or “you are not a good travel companion” it’s easy to shrug those off and blame the person. BUT, they express those sentiments for some reason (once in awhile it’s to get on your nerves, but I find that to be rare).
To become better versions of ourselves, we need to listen to criticism and adjust accordingly.
As a quick side note, I will say that there are certain things people might not like about us that we don’t want to change. I might be very honest and blunt which could bother people. We can’t please everyone, though, and if you get criticized about something that you like about yourself, I see no reason to change it.
On the other hand, there are traits we might get criticized about that we already knew about, don’t like about ourselves, but don’t want to deal with changing. Maybe when I’m tired I have a bad tendency to snap at people and I know that, but don’t want to make an effort to be better. In those cases, it’s critical to make efforts to improve. When we have a problem, being unwilling to solve the issue is a sign of complacency and a lack of courage. It can be hard, and making the adjustment might take significant time, but that’s no reason not to work on it. The excuse of “I have always been like this” is BS in my book.
Then, there are the things that we don’t realize about ourselves that someone might tell us. First off, if someone gives you a criticism you hadn’t thought of before that you realize to be true, say thanks! These are the best kinds of criticism that we rarely receive.
Typically, our friends will criticize us for the little things about ourselves. “You’re breath is bad,” or “you chew gum really loudly.” It’s unlikely, though, unless they are super strong and caring friends, that they will challenge you about larger aspects of how you act. It’s really hard to say to a good friend “you’re afraid of failure and have been taking easy jobs in your life accordingly.” We often want to make our friends feel good, and we want to surround ourselves by others who make us feel good. So, first off, anyone that is willing to say something beyond the surface cares deeply about you and has the balls to do something about it, which I think is awesome. But, secondly, in those situations we can’t shrug the criticism off.
It can be hard and scary when someone challenges us about things at our core, things we have spent a lot of time doing, or about our belief system, but we all have the ability to change, no matter how hard it might be.
Work on taking criticism ASAP
The sooner that we are able to hear things that are critical and be challenged about our beliefs in a healthy way, the better. Once you realize that life is hard, and criticism/feedback is there to make you better, the less shitty you’ll feel about getting put down, the less you’ll resent the person who makes the comment, and the quicker you’ll be able to become a better person
It sometimes takes a separate set of eyes to be able to see and realize things about ourselves that we don’t want to admit. While surrounding ourselves by those people can be exhausting and difficult, once you get over the hump, and can mentally think “what they are saying is just going to make me better off,” you’ll be able to make real progress on improving and will be more comfortable surrounding yourself with people who want to grow.
Thank for reading.
Year 1, Article 10.
Cheers :)
N.B.A
What criticism did you get recently that you shrugged off?
If you ever want to discuss this more or get in touch, don’t hesitate to reach out. My email is noadelstein@gmail.com
